Virgin Mary Allegedly Spotted in Rwanda, Church Launches the Paperwork

A group of children in northern Rwanda say they witnessed an apparition of the Virgin Mary, and within days the sighting had drawn thousands of pilgrims to the area, all hoping for a glimpse of something that, by definition, only a handful of kids actually saw. The Catholic Church, ever cautious about these things, has launched a formal investigation, because you cannot just let a miracle go unaudited.

Rwanda is no stranger to this territory. The country is already home to Our Lady of Kibeho, one of the few Marian apparitions the Vatican has ever officially blessed, so there is a certain institutional muscle memory here for how to handle a crowd of the faithful showing up somewhere on short notice.

Church authorities have urged caution, which is the polite, robed way of saying “let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” Investigations into these things tend to take years, involve theologians, psychologists, and occasionally chemists, and often conclude with a shrug that neither confirms nor fully denies anything, which is itself a kind of miracle of institutional patience.

In the meantime, the crowds keep coming, the vendors keep selling water and rosaries, and the children at the center of it all get to carry the rather significant weight of maybe having seen the Mother of God, or maybe just really vivid weather.

We did not make this up. KT Press has the receipts.

Florida Man’s Big Chipotle Date Turns Out to Be a Police Sting, Shockingly

A 52-year-old man showed up to a Delray Beach Chipotle expecting a romantic rendezvous he’d arranged online. What he got instead was a set of handcuffs, a felony arrest, and the mild indignity of getting caught on a livestream watched by strangers on the internet, because in 2026 even your worst life decisions come with an audience.

The sting was set up as part of an ongoing predator-catching operation, the kind increasingly popular with online creators who have realized that “showing up to confront a guy at a fast-casual burrito chain” makes for compelling content. Delray Beach police say the man believed he was meeting a minor, drove to the location anyway, and discovered too late that his lunch order came with a side of consequences.

Police say this wasn’t an isolated arrest either; the livestreamed sting operation has apparently produced multiple similar encounters, suggesting that a shocking number of people think a burrito bowl is an appropriate venue for the worst decision of their life.

Charges reportedly include traveling to meet a minor and using a two-way communication device to commit a felony, which is a lot of legal terminology for what boils down to: he really, really wanted that burrito.

All of this actually happened. CBS12 confirmed it.

76-Year-Old Florida Man Just Wanted to Drive Drunk on Rum and Cocaine, Is That So Much to Ask

There is a certain kind of honesty that only comes from a man who has clearly stopped caring what anyone thinks of him. A 76-year-old Florida man, already driving on a suspended license, allegedly told deputies exactly what he’d been doing before they pulled him over: drinking rum and snorting cocaine, in what we can only assume was some kind of retirement bucket-list combo deal.

Deputies reportedly didn’t have to work very hard for this confession. The man apparently just volunteered it, the way most of us might mention we grabbed a coffee on the way to work. Florida law enforcement has long benefited from residents who treat their Miranda rights as more of a suggestion than a right.

This was, notably, not the man’s first rodeo with impaired driving, which raises the obvious question of why his license was suspended in the first place and how that suspension was going to stop a man who was, by his own account, committed to the bit. Spoiler: it did not stop him. It rarely does.

He now faces new charges on top of the old ones, presumably to be handled by a judge who has heard some version of this story before, possibly from this same man.

Don’t take our word for it: Fox News has the full story. It’s exactly as described.

Florida Man Skips the Neighborly Chat, Goes Straight to Hiring a Hitman Over a Drone

Most people, when a neighbor’s drone buzzes their backyard one too many times, do something reasonable: complain to the HOA, put up a “No Drones” sign, maybe key the guy’s mailbox out of spite. A Florida man decided the appropriate response to a drone dispute was to allegedly offer a jail inmate $5,000 to kill the neighbor entirely, thereby solving the drone problem and also becoming a felon in one tidy transaction.

According to authorities, the plan came together the way most Florida murder-for-hire plots do: badly, and with a paper trail. The man is accused of reaching out to someone behind bars to arrange the hit, apparently unaware that inmates are not generally known for their discretion, or their access to functioning hitmen, or their interest in doing favors for free.

Investigators say the arrangement fell apart before anyone was hurt, which is good news for the neighbor, who presumably still has no idea his airspace violations nearly got him killed. It is less good news for the accused, who now faces charges considerably more serious than “annoying” or “should really read up on easement law.”

We would like to point out, gently, that Florida already has a legal process for drone disputes. It’s called a phone call to the sheriff’s non-emergency line. It does not, as far as we know, require a bail bondsman afterward.

We did not make this up. WKNO has the receipts.

Pennsylvania Senator Says God Told Him Not to Run for Governor, Also Couldn’t Be Bothered to Endorse Anyone Who Is

Pennsylvania state senator Doug Mastriano, who lost the 2022 governor’s race in a landslide, announced via Facebook livestream with his wife that he would not be running again in 2026. The reason, he explained, was divine: “God has not called us to run for governor this year.” The couple say they prayed extensively before arriving at that conclusion, which took considerably longer to announce than to reach, given that Mastriano spent much of the livestream reminiscing about 2022 and revisiting his COVID-19 grievances before actually confirming he was out.

Mastriano also declined to endorse Stacy Garrity, the Republican candidate who is running, saying only “we’ll talk about that down the road” — a curious position for a man who just told his followers he’s in direct communication with God about who should and shouldn’t hold statewide office.

He’ll remain in the state senate, where his current term runs through 2028 and he’s not up for reelection this cycle, which conveniently means no one had to hear from God about that particular decision.

Don’t take our word for it: PhillyVoice has the full story. It’s exactly as described.

Man Steals Tools From Work Truck, Gets Caught Riding Same Trailer On Camera The Next Day

On a Friday in Hillsborough County, someone broke into a parked work truck and made off with multiple bags of tools worth several hundred dollars, all caught on surveillance video, trailer and all. On Saturday, deputies spotted a man riding a bicycle down the road pulling that exact same trailer, in what can only be described as an unusually confident encore performance.

That man was identified as 56-year-old Joe Talmadge Butts, who was arrested and found to be carrying methamphetamine at the time. The Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office did not need much of an investigation, on account of the culprit having returned to the literal scene of the crime pulling the literal evidence.

There’s a lesson in here somewhere about not riding your stolen trailer past the same business the day after you stole it, but Butts appears to have skipped that chapter.

We did not make this up. CBS12 has the receipts.

Texas ‘Psychic’ Who Promised to Remove Curses Couldn’t Foresee Her Own Indictment

Bridgette Doreen Evans, who also went by Jolene Travis, told her clients she could remove curses. Specifically, she convinced grieving and heartbroken people that their bad luck was caused by their own money, and that the only fix was to liquidate their assets and hand the proceeds over to her — in gold coins, or cash — so she could “cleanse” the funds and send them back. Reader, she did not send them back.

Evans and her partner, Vinnie John Uwanawich, are accused of running the scheme out of Frisco, Texas, targeting people going through divorce, romantic heartbreak, or the death of a loved one. Prosecutors say they took at least $2.5 million from at least three victims between 2021 and 2024, including one person who lost $2 million alone.

The pair now face conspiracy, wire fraud, and mail fraud charges. A federal prosecutor summed up the operation about as plainly as it deserves: “Ms. Evans preyed upon their needs, convincing victims that she could ‘remove a curse’ and help them find love. In truth her scheme was simply to help herself to their wealth.” One assumes the curse she failed to see coming was her own indictment.

All of this actually happened. The U.S. Department of Justice confirmed it.

Asked If God Appointed Him President, Trump Says ‘I Hope It’s True’

Asked directly whether he believed God had placed him in office “for such a time as this,” Donald Trump did not exactly reach for humility. “I hope it’s true,” he said. “All I’m going to do is, I’m going to do my best.” Then, apparently worried about jinxing it, he added: “I almost don’t even want to think about it.”

The claim wasn’t Trump’s own invention — he cited backing from evangelical allies including Mike Pompeo and Sarah Sanders, along with a moment he described as deeply moving: Franklin Graham revealing that his late father Billy Graham had voted for him. Trump framed his base as a “silent majority” of overlooked, hardworking Americans, which is a more modest self-description than “instrument of the divine,” but he’ll take both.

It is, admittedly, a tricky position to be in: too much confidence and you sound unhinged, too little and you’re turning down a compliment from several evangelical leaders and possibly the Almighty. Trump threaded the needle by simply agreeing it would be nice if it were true.

Don’t take our word for it: Fox News has the full story. It’s exactly as described.

Broward Man Allegedly Ran 41 Fake Luxury Car Insurance Claims, Somehow Still Got Caught

Adam Otrok wanted to drive luxury cars he never bought with money he never had, so he allegedly did what any resourceful Broward County man would do: he filed 41 fake insurance applications for vehicles he didn’t own, using counterfeit identification, then canceled the payments and demanded refunds before anyone noticed the checks had bounced.

According to Florida’s Department of Financial Services, Otrok attempted to defraud insurers out of $206,000 and actually walked away with $44,704 of it before investigators caught up with him on August 6. He now faces charges of organized fraud, insurance fraud, grand theft, and fraudulent use of personal identification, with a maximum sentence of 10 years.

Florida’s Chief Financial Officer Blaise Ingoglia offered a promise that doubles as a warning label for the entire state: “If you want to commit financial crimes, my investigators will be close behind you.” Forty-one fraudulent applications later, they were.

We did not make this up. FOX 35 Orlando has the receipts.

Appeals Court Rules the Quiet Part DHS Already Said Out Loud Counts as Evidence

Back in January 2025, the Department of Homeland Security put out a statement bragging that, under its new policy, “criminals will no longer be able to hide in America’s schools and churches.” It read like a tough-guy soundbite at the time. This month, a federal appeals court used that exact sentence as evidence against the government.

The 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals upheld an injunction blocking DHS agents from conducting immigration enforcement at or near more than 1,400 houses of worship across 33 states and Washington, D.C. Senior Judge Barbara Milano Keenan wrote that the policy had already caused a documented decline in worship attendance, placing “a substantial burden” on congregations’ ability to practice their religion — and that DHS’s own public statement showed the agency meant to target those buildings all along.

The ruling applies specifically to the Quaker, Sikh, and Baptist congregations who sued, and it requires DHS to fall back on the more restrictive 2021 policy that generally kept immigration agents out of churches, schools, and hospitals absent a warrant or an emergency. DHS, for its part, called the ruling “a false narrative to try and demonize our brave ICE law enforcement” — which is one way to respond to a court quoting your own press release back to you.

All of this actually happened. CT Mirror confirmed it.