Jesus is a Tolkien Fan!

Tree BeardDateline, Florida…again (I’m telling you…it’s the humidity. It rots the brain). Jesus has been seen gallivanting around in the trees of a Central Florida town. Apparently JC only reveals himself at night on a tree outside of the home of Joe Lewis. Then, as mysteriously has he shows up, he is gone.

Now, I can’t help but notice the similarity in this report to another tree dwelling creature…Tree Beard from J.R.R. Tolkein’s Lord of the Rings series. Check it out…

Tree Beard

“I’m not really hardcore religious,” Lewis said. “I thought it was something cool. I didn’t think it was something to go crazy over or anything like that.”

I think someone needs to ask Mr. Lewis if he’s been watching his prize copy of the extended, uncut LOTR DVDs a bit too much recently.

“Jesus don’t just pop up like that…”

Florida…home of the hanging chad, rampant voter fraud, insane humidity, and now Jesus has settled in sleepy Arlington, FL to watch over retirees walking their dogs. Of all the sightings, this one makes the most sense. Jesus was Jewish…and we all know that old Jewish folks retire to Florida. Ah, but wait…this is Arlington…not Boca or Miami Beach. So, what exactly is Jesus doing there? Well, apparently he followed some family from Texas (stowing away in a Uhaul I assume) and parked himself on a tree in the yard of their new house.

Is this Jesus or just tree rot?

I dunno…looks more like Gregori Rasputin to me.

Fla. Residents See Jesus Image In Tree – Orlando News Story – WKMG Orlando

UPDATE…I found some video of this one….still looks like Rasputin to me.

Holy Potato Salad

Jesus in a potatoI think what makes this one so priceless is that they ATE THE POTATO! What’s next…a talking fish…oh wait…that’s already happened.

MARION COUNTY, Fla. — A Florida pastor discovered food for the soul, and a sign from God, in an unlikely place — a potato.

Pastor Renee Brewster reluctantly started making potato salad for church but was not entirely comfortable doing it, as Sister Frankie normally makes the dish. So she asked God for a sign, reports.

“I was hesitant about making the potato salad because Sister Frankie makes the potato salad at church and I said, ‘Lord, if it’s not for me to make potato salad then send me a sign.’”

Next she cut in half a potato and discovered it looked rotten. She only took a second look after her 10-year-old granddaughter said she saw an image of Jesus Christ on the Cross in the split potato.

On closer inspection, she saw the image, as well.

“That’s Jesus on the Cross. Just looking at it I don’t have to convince,” Brewster said.

She froze the potato heart and used the rest to make the salad, which was served during the weekly rescue mission.

Said Brewster: “I just want people to know God is still as real today as he was back then and he can show up anytime he gets ready.”