Gibson and Fender…Suckit! Jesus plays Washburn

Jesus on a guitar Apparently Jesus us a music fan, but both Gibson and Fender have failed to please the the Great Cheesy One. When He isn’t out healing people or turning water to wine, Jesus likes to play his power chords on a Washburn.

And, if the image on the guitar isn’t clear enough, maybe it’s because Jesus just took his motorcycle helmet off and is looking a little ragged. According to the guitars owner, “It also reminds me of my brother, he’s a biker.”

Jesus REALLY Loves the Little Children

I don’t know if Jesus wants a warm place to sleep or if he’s is trying to be born again as per his own instructions…. but one thing’s for sure- he likes to cuddle with the chillens. And he’ll hang out in utero to do it.

Luke 18:15-17:
People were also bringing babies to Jesus to have him touch them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

The innuendo kind of just writes itself, doesn’t it?

Jesus appears on Google Maps

I had a friend who expressed doubt that I could actually create enough content for this blog just based on Jesus sightings. He has since admitted that he was wrong and now sends me anything he finds on the subject. But, just to show you how easy it is to find material, I just did a simple Google search this morning, and came up with this absurd YouTube video. This bozo claims that he found Jesus in the clouds on the satellite image of Google Earth where Mount Sinai is supposed to be.

And, then there’s this Scorsese wannabe who turns melted candle wax into a 5 minute opus complete with an operatic score.