Riley Ferrer, 28, was driving north on I-75 in Hernando County around 12:15 a.m. when he apparently locked eyes with the Antichrist. We don’t know what the Antichrist looks like, but whatever Ferrer saw was compelling enough to make him lose control of his pickup truck, veer off the road, and slam into a sedan carrying two other people, both of whom were seriously injured.
Naturally, the correct response to causing a horrific crash is to wait calmly for help. Ferrer instead chose option two: as fire rescue crews prepped the injured victims for transport, he ran past the stretchers and tried to commandeer the medical helicopter idling nearby. Not carjack it. Not borrow it. Steal a medevac helicopter, mid-rescue, with patients still on the ground.
Troopers caught up with him before liftoff and charged him with three counts of resisting an officer without violence and one count of burglary of an occupied conveyance, which is an oddly polite legal term for “attempted helicopter theft.”
No word yet on whether the Antichrist filed a police report of his own, or whether he’s just relieved Ferrer didn’t try to recruit him as a copilot.
We did not make this up. The Hernando Sun has the receipts.